Blessing and Shame

"It was a good ten-minute walk (I walked from Kalayaan corner V. Luna to the office on my way back from Meralco). I realized that perhaps God is teaching me to sing from my heart, 'Lord, You are more precious than silver; Lord, You are more costly than gold. More beautiful than diamonds; And nothing I desire compares to you.' I started to pray for Lian Ed's milk, "Lord, please provide for my baby's milk. He has nothing for tonight." Then Habakkuk 3:17-18 came to mind:

Though the fig tree should not blossom

And there be no fruit in the vines,

Though the yield of the olive should fail

And the fields produce no food,

Though the flock should be cut off from the fold

And there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will exult in the Lord,

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

God is taking me at HIS Word! I felt Him enabling me to sincerely declare these words and claim it to be true in my life. It is not the easiest to do. Trusting the money I can count seems easier than putting my faith in an unseen Provider. But I felt God's Spirit quickening mine. It is possible to rejoice in the midst of scarcity. It is possible to be at peace in the midst of poverty. And to be ashamed of the way He chooses to provide is acutally pride and ungratefulness. It is possible to trust the God of the impossible."

Later that day, an officemate came to my cubicle and handed me a grocery bag. In it was a big can of milk. She said, “Please give this to my inaanak (godson). I realize I have not been a good ninang, having missed his birthday, I want to make up by giving this as a gift.” Tears fell from my eyes. My officemate had no idea what I was going through. I simply said, “Thank you. Thank God for you.”

(This piece was written in 2004.)